Tony Robbins has said: “The strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves.”
Tony is talking about your ‘story’. You cannot change your life until you change your story. And you cannot change your story until you let go of the past.
How to let go of who you thought you were
Consciousness of being is a great and powerful gift. At first, our understanding and our learnings are somewhat superficial. As infants and children, they are related to our most basic needs. Yet, as we grow into adulthood, our minds expand with knowledge. Everybody’s story is different and everybody’s experiences shape who they are. Their choices shape who they will become. It is important, however, to stop and pause and ask yourself how your most important relationship is going.
What relationship? Your relationship with yourself, of course!
We must ask “Am I happy? Do I like myself? Am I who I always thought I would be?” Sometimes, we are stuck without realising it. Whether by outside or internal influence, we may have become a person we are not entirely satisfied with. The beauty of this, however, is that we can always change things. Identifying the problem is the biggest step. So, if we do find ourselves in a place where we want things to change, either slightly or a lot, we can take considerable measures to do so.
Always be open to change
When we stay in a certain lifestyle or situation for a long time, we have a tendency to just continue on without thinking too much about it. But when we begin to ask the questions “Is this everything I wanted for myself? Could things possibly be different somehow?” we open ourselves to the possibility of something new. Things can, and always do, change. We just need to recognise it.
Know that your thoughts can be malleable
We may be cemented in ideas that we absolutely believe to be true. They may have been passed down to us from our parents or families, or they may be things that we have experienced and are true to us. But if we can approach life with the idea that our thoughts can change, we are then opening ourselves to newness.
Understand that everyone and everything is teaching you (even when you don’t particularly like it)
We may not like everyone and everything that comes into our path, but sometimes the things we dislike are the things that will teach us the most about ourselves. Everything new that we come into contact with is teaching us something. We only have control over ourselves; where we are, how we react, and what we choose to learn from a situation. These are our choices. Don’t shy away from the things that are different or unusual or even unpleasant. Understand that diversity can be the very thing that heals you. Acceptance is paramount.
Change it up
If you are beginning to recognise some unhappiness or malcontent, change things up. While this is not always easy, change things to the best of your ability. You will gain a new perspective on things that maybe you had no real idea about. You may end up walking a mile in another person’s shoes. You may end up walking a mile in no shoes at all. By simply putting yourself into newness, however, you are at the very least exposing yourself to possibility and new ideas. Change really is as good as a holiday.
Never stop learning
It’s not a bad thing to say that you have sensibly changed your mind. In fact, it is a great thing. It means we are learning, it means we are looking up, at each other, and working with each other to understand each other’s lives better. It means we are loving and having experiences. Imagine if we always stayed the same?
Never stop learning, never stop discussing, never stop peacefully exchanging thoughts and words and opinions. Your new self is constantly an amalgamation of all of your old selves combined with the greatness you continue to expose yourself to. And always remember that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, right now.
Tony Robbins’ most intimate, most impactful event,
Date with Destiny, returns to the Gold Coast in 2017